Just a quick hello to say we still don’t have internet at la maison (the house). It is driving me completely insane! I have work to do and I want to blog to get my eating back on track. Sadly, I’ve had such a messy week of eating since I got back from surfing and I stepped on the scale this morning and just about burst into tears. I feel really sick, my stomach is a mess today and I just feel so disgusting. I fool myself into believeing I’ve got this eating-stuff in check, when really I don’t. I just want to eat normal, like I did while I was in France. Why is that so hard!? Why do I have to fall right back into binging as soon as I get home?! Yes yes, I know I am unhappy, I know this is probably the number one reason for my binging, I’m just so sick and tired of everything. So, so sick and tired! I cannot take this anymore. I want this to end, I want it to stop right now and just go away. I want it to stop pestering me and filling up my mind with these thoughts. Ugh…

Sorry for the gloomy post but I’m in a pooey mood today for several reasons, most of which were just mentioned above.

Cross your fingers I’ve got internet at home soon.


3 thoughts on “Suhrriously

  1. I’m so sorry you’re struggling! If you need anything, just contact me/email me/whatever you need! Is it possible that your home sort of… “triggers” you. If that’s possible? You need to get to the root of the problem. Hope you figure things out. It’s gonna be okay girlie!
    <3 jess

  2. I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time… I remember coming back from a day with my friends where I’d eaten what i felt like, everything had been so relaxed and the next day I couldn’t do it. At that point I decided I wanted to kick this once and for good and got into intensive outpatient treatment. A lifesaver! So just so you know… you can get help. It’s so worth it!

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